Draft : Migraines

When I found truth, there I found God, Who is the truth itself.

 St. Augustine


In an ideal world, life is free of pain , shame , envy, and every individual is on their best behaviour life is in ‘High Definition’ and maybe the streets are paved in gold, food is abundant and we all live in harmony. Sounds just like heaven and I as most Christians look forward to spending entirety.  In the mean time I have to learn to be content in all circumstances and live daily with purpose. .

Living with an invisible illness can be difficult especially if if the doctors are still investigating and have not diagnosed completely what is going on with you . I had an appointment with a neurologist who confirmed I had Chronic Migraine and he is suggesting 1 of the 3 options

  • Acupuncture
  • Botox
  • Greater Occipital nerve Blocker

All the 3 suggestions involve needles inserted to my head and provide temporary relief as I require more than 1 procedure. I need to make a decision by saturday and I am tempted to cancel my appointment and forfeit the procedure. The relief I will receive may (emphasis on may ) provide relief that is short lived and I am hoping will enable me focus on my dissertation . I am almost willing to risk it. One thing is certain ,any option I decide comes with the much dreaded recording of symptoms to determine its effectiveness.

One aspect of living with an invisible illness that is difficult  for me is keeping journals of everything for different doctors. To think I always saw keeping a dairy as a unique way to put my thoughts on paper, it was fun when I did it for pleasure , but now it seems its mandatory.  I now have to keep track of the following

  1. Food journal : meals , water symptoms
  2. Prescription
  3. Sleep journal
  4. Chronic Pain
  5. Chronic Fatigue
  6. Symptom
  7. Exercise
  8. Heart Rate and blood pressure
  9. Bowel movement
  10. Pacing

I must admit, I find it hard but I am hopeful


Song Of the week( S.O.T.W) 3 :Kari Jobe _ Be still my soul

I am going through a difficult time and have had to take a break from so many things I love doing . Waking up in the morning, my day begins with pains, as result of fibromyalgia even water coming in contact with my skin makes me ache .I am finding it more difficult to complete  projects , I have wonderful ideas but seating to put my ideas together has proved increasingly difficult . I have tried so many strategies but the hours have turned into days, ands days to weeks and the weeks months and the months…. and I have had brain fog. Sometimes as Christians we find it challenging to be quiet and still when we in pain. Sometimes we need to look beyond the disappointment , disapproval , dismissals , difficulties and look towards God. If we can place everything in his hands and remember what is word says regarding our future then we will have peace. I never fail to forget God has given us every tool we need to find encouragement on our worse days . One way is through worship.  When the pains are on bearable I listen to wonderful songs that have helped and I  am sharing with you is Kari Jobes Be still my soul is my song of the week . (The lyrics are listed below) I pray you Listen to the song and also share songs that you use during your quiet time.

Thank you for reading and am looking forward to reading your suggestions.

Shalom .

Kari Jobe : Be still my soul

Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain
Leave to thy God to order and provide
In every change He faithful will remain
Be still, my soul, thy best, thy heavenly friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end
Be still, my soul, thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake
All now mysterious shall be bright at last
Be still, my soul, the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below


In you I rest, in You I found my hope
In you I trust, You never let me go
I place my life within your hands alone
Be still, my soul

Verse 2

Be still, my soul, the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord
When disappointed grief and fear are gone
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored
Be still, my soul, when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last

Chorus 2x

In you I rest, in You I found my hope
In you I trust, You never let me go
I place my life within your hands alone
Be still, my soul

In you I rest, in You I found my hope
In you I trust, You never let me go
I place my life within your hands alone

invisible illness… the unseen silent killer

If anyone tells me you look good when every part of my body hurts, I have no idea what my reaction will be. Am meant to be reading but I cannot concentrate. My dissertation has come to an halt and I have been attempting to  write for over 9 months . I have a good understanding of what , but the sad part is I am unable to concentrate and I have brain fog.  The doctors say I need to pace myself. I understand that i also need to practice mindfulness. Haha this is getting too much. The worse part is people see me and say , wow you look good , and my response is today the pain is like a 7 and am happy when it is . When  asked ,

“what part of my body hurts my response is , rephrase your question what part does not hurt.

I hurt in places I never knew a human being could hurt. It is unbelievable how even I would have ignored people in the position I am in now . The truth about invisible illnesses like PoTS and Fibromyalgia is that it is impossible to explain when you unwell you are. Everyday you get up hoping you will be able to get through the day.  Some days  even the easiest task like taking a shower  seems daunting . It kills you slowly and you are given medication that has side effects . What next , it cnt get worse than this …